Family counseling is help for families where addiction is present. Addiction destroys not only individuals, but entire families. Living with an addict is heartbreaking and tiring. Time and time again you hear that the addict will stop and you want to continue to believe in them. At the same time, you feel powerless and sad. Maybe you’re even angry. You do everything in your power to help your addicted loved one. At the same time, you need to make sure you do not get swept up into their problems.
Do you not know how to help? Have you tried everything and yet make no progress? Do not underestimate life with an addicted loved one. It can even make you physically and mentally ill. Always remember:
- You did not cause the addiction
- You cannot control the addiction
- You cannot cure the addiction
Although you cannot stop drinking or using drugs for someone else, there are a lot of other things you can do. As an experience expert and as a Recovery Coach, I’ve discovered various things over the years that can help you. And ofcourse you can enable me as a family counselor. An introductory meeting is free of charge. Read everything about the first steps of family counseling here.
What can you do for a loved one who is addicted?
Life with an addicted loved one is not easy. To begin with, I recommend you to read up on addiction and recovery. Set clear boundaries that everyone agrees upon for the family, not to punish. At the same time, you cannot protect your addicted loved ones against the consequences of their addiction. Addicts are more likely to change if they have felt the negative consequences.
More handles:
- give the addict time to attend meetings
- try not to accuse or condemn
- do not apologize for the addict and do not deny their behavior
- would you like to provide material assistance, then buy only items that he or she urgently needs instead of giving cash that may be used for drugs or alcohol
- act as if your dear one has a serious illness; what would you do if he or she had cancer?
Try to realize that your life changes. Desiring your old life back is useless, because you are supposed to create a new life in which it is easier not to use alcohol or drugs. Although you need to create an environment where triggers are rare, you do want to make sure there is enough time to have fun together. People who use alcohol or drugs do this as a relaxation, escape and reward. Find other ways to realize these goals. That’s good for both!
What can you do for yourself?
First of all: take care of yourself. Living with an addict is very tiring. You have the right to recover and relax. Do not blame yourself, because you do not have control over decisions that another makes. Do not go into a discussion if the addict is under the influence, because believe me: that does not work. A family counseling is a great first step and we support you in this journey.
More things you can do for yourself:
- do not work harder than the one that you are trying to help, be an example of a balanced person who cares for themselves
- realize that there is only so much you can try to do to change somebody
- ask for help, including professionals or support groups
- do not try to be negative, as this may aggravate the addict’s guilt, which means he or she will use even more
Contact me if you would like help from an experienced expert. You can make an appointment or ask questions by phone or email. I am available daily from 09:00 to 21:00 on 06-58969809 and info@peterterhorst.com.